I've had something of a realisation - in the last week...A change of heart, but in a good way!
It started, a couple of days before departure. I was lying in bed - I'd just woken up thinking I was stressing about getting ready for making a return to my Scouts. Another year had rolled by since the last canoeing-expedition. Back then, I was a lot more 'able' (than I am now), I was worrying about all the things that might go wrong-(with me) if I went on this trip, in so many ways I could be a 'ball & chain', or that my pain would get so bad, or I'd have a fall and be alone and not be able to get help!
Barrier, after barrier..I would be a failure!...I must have layed there for a while.
Then it was like a great big hand just 'slapped-me-in-the-face', a voice inside me said..'my, my, what about that. It is what it is...so, suck-it-up and move ahead !!!!!!!!!!!
So I did something about it. I realised that everyone I love in this world, love me for being me, my family and friends know what I've been through. Physically, I don't do what I used to do-(before TM) - but I hated myself for it, not thinking that my attitude had changed. It was my attitude to 'it'. My TM is with me, and the car-accident-(in 2011) has heightened my TM-symptoms. So I'm moving ahead.
...I'm bloody sore, everywhere! And I didn't do anything more physical than sit, stand, walk-around-a-bit/hobble-with-my-crutch, teach scouts some nautical-knots-(and learn a couple myself too!). It was a wet weekend, ok it was pissing-down most of the time. But, that didn't mean a thing - all the scouts-(and the leaders too!) had a bloody great time at the 2012-EWAB-Canoe-Expedition.
I'm so glad I went - see what FUN you can have with a change of mind/heart!
It started, a couple of days before departure. I was lying in bed - I'd just woken up thinking I was stressing about getting ready for making a return to my Scouts. Another year had rolled by since the last canoeing-expedition. Back then, I was a lot more 'able' (than I am now), I was worrying about all the things that might go wrong-(with me) if I went on this trip, in so many ways I could be a 'ball & chain', or that my pain would get so bad, or I'd have a fall and be alone and not be able to get help!
Barrier, after barrier..I would be a failure!...I must have layed there for a while.
Then it was like a great big hand just 'slapped-me-in-the-face', a voice inside me said..'my, my, what about that. It is what it is...so, suck-it-up and move ahead !!!!!!!!!!!
So I did something about it. I realised that everyone I love in this world, love me for being me, my family and friends know what I've been through. Physically, I don't do what I used to do-(before TM) - but I hated myself for it, not thinking that my attitude had changed. It was my attitude to 'it'. My TM is with me, and the car-accident-(in 2011) has heightened my TM-symptoms. So I'm moving ahead.
...I'm bloody sore, everywhere! And I didn't do anything more physical than sit, stand, walk-around-a-bit/hobble-with-my-crutch, teach scouts some nautical-knots-(and learn a couple myself too!). It was a wet weekend, ok it was pissing-down most of the time. But, that didn't mean a thing - all the scouts-(and the leaders too!) had a bloody great time at the 2012-EWAB-Canoe-Expedition.
I'm so glad I went - see what FUN you can have with a change of mind/heart!
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