New to this... #2

Well, my fingers have improved to the point I can type, so I've been fumbling my way around the interwebs, and while family life goes on and around Woodpuddle -  looking for a fantastic spark of wonder to jump out at me was a worthwhile pastime.

New to this... #3

Please accept my apologies for the cryptic message in the previous post, #2. What I was trying to say was that I have been drawing to take up my time in between the spasms and stuff, when my left-hand is working properly. I've even started to use my right-hand too-[though just for filling-in with dots]. I started in 2007. 

It gets pretty damned boring-[and depressing] in a hospital bed, in a shared ward with 3-other patients each with nothing better to do with themselves than moan and groan, go to sleep, get woken up by the meal-trays çlunking' on the bed frames, eat, go to the bathroom, sleep, and be treated like a box full of pin-cushions at a garage/yard sale by the team of interns on their respective rounds at sunrise and sunset - day after day. 

So, when my wife suggested to me to bring me some pens and a sketch book.. the best I could muster was a muffled-[tongue-cramping!]-OK. I was trying to summon some control of my motor-functions, but it was painfully funny to my beautiful family. Pretty soon I found a part of me that could 'take me away' from reality, for a small part of each day..

New to this....

Hi there fellow-chronic-pain-sufferers. This is my story.. I've existed with chronic-pain continuously now for 4-years, 9-months, 29-days... but who's counting. Since I had a Flu-shot; Flu-VAX; what-ever they call it these days. 

For me it was my first time flu-needle. And my last. Never again. I had had an Adverse Reaction to the 'germ' injected into my arm. My immune system went into overdrive and didn't stop simply at absorbing the vaccine. No, not me, I was invaded by the 'enemy' and my defences went ballistic! ..oh yeah baby!

So [jumping forward for a bit], I found the strength today. To say something, vent, bitch, moan get it off my chest.. I'm not sorry for all the metaphors, that's how I am. Sometimes lazy, hazy, fog-days but then I have moments of clarity and other times I don't. It's now, Wednesday 18th January, 2012. And I'm typing this ''blog", my very first blog - on my son's net-book computer. 

It has those 'flat-keys'.. I probably type about 15-20 wpm, using my thumbs and index-fingers- slow, yes. I'm wearing special gloves with padding and Velcro, they help by being-very tight-to fit and applying pressure in the fleshy-regions [between the index-to-thumb] - to relieve my cramps.. Anyway, I've used a cute and nerdy [free] widget-off-the-web that's calculated my chronic-pain-elapsed-time to approximately; 

• 252-weeks; or  
• 1765-days; or 
• 42,360-hours; or 
• 2,542,600-minutes; or 
• 152,496,000-seconds 

Which is 10.52% of my existence on this beautiful, blue-planet.What ever rocks your world; floats-your-boat; ..blah-dee-blah-blah!! ..I thought that really puts it into perspective for me. I was shocked, actually...! That's a bloody long time to be doing anything - sailing around the word, walking from coast-to-coast, or learning to become a professional - anything at all.

So, here's what's been happening with me since Day-1. That was Wednesday, 21st March March 2007, and it's since then that I've been sharing my life with chronic-pain. To feel-pain, live-pain, grow-in-pain, every-day, every-way. But, to be thankful is hard. Damned hard mostly... and being in pain 24/7 is bloody character-building, that's for sure.

I have been on a special drug - Neurontin [also known as Gabapentin], from when I was diagnosed with "Transverse-Myelitis"-[TM], back in April '11, by my Neurologist. It's been a long time waiting, having to go from this specialist, to that specialist. Tests, tests, and more bloody tests. All the while being told that the symptoms I was displaying were strange indeed.

That-[the symptoms]; .."Could not possibly have anything at all to do with your flu-shot"..; and  that; .. It's all in your head G------. All I knew was this; before the vaccine-injection - I was normal....., and after the vaccine-injection, I wasn't. 

In fact, within 24-hrs of first having the flu-shot, I was on a lumpy hospital-gurny bed in Emergency with a fever of 42deg.C. A quivering, cramping, increasingly-paralysed specimen. That was my introduction to a cluster of symptoms, that over time would become diagnosed as a version of TM. My Neurologist has been gently explaining how the condition would affect my nervous-system over time.

So, I had never heard of Transverse-Myelitis. I was in shock for quite a while-[days, weeks], not realising what it meant for me and my family. But, through continued visits to the clinic, each time I was given more and more information. Each time it was like day-ja-vu. Each time, a new intern. Same tests, over and over.

With a little investigation on our behalf -[we Googled it], my wife-J found out about a small group called Spinal-Injuries-Association, here in Queensland. I've since attended a TM-Day event, when we had a live video-conference with the TM-Association in the USA. My wife and I met some other beautiful people with the same condition. Click on the links to discover for yourself. There is so much information, and the staff is wonderful. 

How are you? Please join Wishful Thinking, or comment, or follow my blog. But first, let me tell you a yarn about my road - less travelled. Here goes....My name is 'Dodders-[a.k.a. Goat]. I prefer Goat.  This is my first blog! ..It came to me, I was thinking about how I feel and a little voice in my head said "GET IT OUT THERE"" . So this is it. Raw. Rough and ready..I haven't done any blogs, but I have to start somewhere, right!  Sometimes, I'll go here - then go over there, jump-back in time, then forward to now. Please be patient with me!

I am 45-years old, a father of 3 boys; Minigoat-19; JD-15; TJ-13. Married to my lovely wife [of 19 years this April] Woodpuddle, who I adore and rely on every day-[lately]. A dog; Mackenzie-[a 13yo-black Labrador]. A cat; Patch-[a 10yo Tabbie]. A few chooks; Psycho Sally, Cyclops, Merl-the-Girl-[plus another one, but I can't remember her name at the moment]. ..oh, it's Polly! ..and we recently lost a 3yo-Goldfish-[Tom], to higher service. 

He [Tom] was the healthiest looking specimen I'd ever seen, but he just stopped - literally! To go from -swimming, eating, swimming, eating, swimming... to -----------------...flat line! ..we think that maybe it was his time to exist in a parallel universe, so off he went! 

We live in a little corner of Queensland, Australia - a beautiful part of the world. We call it 'Woodpuddle'. There is peace and serenity here.. truly. Bright and airy, one day - then quiet-but noisy.. the birds and the insects of the bush to keep things in balance. We live in a beautiful old 3-BR-Queenslander", up on poles.. We do feel blessed, there I said it. Truly. 

BTW - Heres' some more information I've condensed, explaining about TM that you may find useful;


What is Transverse Myelitis? Transverse Myelitis is a neurological condition sometimes triggered by illness and is a 'known' adverse reaction to flu vaccinations-, but is as likely to develop out of the blue. 

People affected by TM can be left without bladder or bowel control and needing to use a wheelchair, or other mobility aid-. Symptoms of TM can be similar to Multiple-Sclerosis

Like with MS, sufferers with TM can feel 'pins-and-needles' in their upper and lower limbs and can be particularly sensitive to heat and cold. They can experience a tight band-like feeling around their middle which I've been told is called 'Banding'.